oh...yesterday mike online again..
pretty happy on it..
hehee...
so in love with him..even though he is always not with me..
now he is in france..
but still love him..
these day don know y..keep on thinking bout him,..even dream bout him last nite..
oh..
miss him so much le..

just argue with my mum..
she don trust me anymore..
keep on telling me my frens will cheated me la..bla bla bla..
i know she wan me good..but..
my frens don cheated me..ever..
haiz..somemore need me to find job la..bla bla bla..
the problem is i like freedom..
i m a bird on the air..
i don like to be controled...i like to be free...
haiz....
just don know how my life is goin on...
i cant see the future light..
wish i can move out n do something...
shit...
really....!!i m so serious on it...
more they push me..more i wanna go out..

some more my evil sister always talk bout stupid in front of my mum..
shit..damn hate her le..
she think she all that..
shit.....
always the one wo think she smarter than anybody..
shit..
i really very fed up oledi..
my mum now thinking i m not looking for job la..bla bla bla...
really stupid!!!!!!1
damn hate her actually..!!

..

yesterday just msn with darling mike...quite happy to hear from him..
notice that he is ok..fine..
everything in his family is fine n good..
i feel so release..n relieve too..

yesterday v talk something bout 3 somes..
that his fantansm..
he imagine i make love with gal n guy at the same time...3 person at once..
hahah...
that really wild...
hahaha;..
i not reject to try actually...
cos it is just somthing new..but at this moment i not ready to try..
maybe one day wen our relatioship is stable..n i hv nothing to worry..
i ll try..maybe..
hehehe..

yesterday in the conversation..i can see he is really care bout me...
n i really happy with it..cos i ask him if i sleep with other guy...he said he will be very sad on it..just if he do the same way to me..i ll be very sad too..

yes it is true..
all i want from him is himself only..
i hope he belongs to me..only for me..not for others..his ex-wife or someone else..
but i know it is impossible..cos he has so many responsible n burden..
haiz..
wen my wish can come true..
so long i guess..

Down

yesterday come back late, wen i open the inbox, mike had send me an email..
it is a very short email. It like he is very busy till no time to write long letter for me..
but i still miss him so much..

yesterday i went out with mani...
the feeling with him is just...no rite..
he kiss me..but honestly..i don feel anythin like i feel mike
just bit nature response..but the feeling in my heart is just not rite..n i don like that feeling..

wen mike kiss me...i feel like my heart beating fast.,.the feeling is so good..wen he touch me..
i like it..n i love it..
but with mani..it just not rite..i don like he kiss me..
even i really miss mike kiss..
but mani is not the compatible of mike.l.
mike is unique..
unreplaceable..
this can explain that i don simply hv relationship with guy for so long til mike show up..

now all i hv to do is just waiting mike lo..
really miss him so much..
the feeling fulfil my heart..
some more wen mani kiss me..i just unstoppable thinking bout mike..,
shit..
hahaha...sound so silly..

anyway..that me..
hahah..
stupid..

19/7/09- sunday

today wake up on 11.30 am.
last nite was very tired..
tis day very excited cos harry potter 6 finally showing on cinema..
excited..
now at my mum shop..
life getting a bit boring..
but still i miss mike so much..
love to miss him..
really hope i can see him..face to face but not only picture..
still hv 1 1/2 month to go..
ohhhhhh..miss him miss him miss him..

18/7/09-sat

yesterday after chat with darling..
i happy with it, beside that i oso seduce him by open my web cam.
hahah...
i feel that i m very bad..
hahha..
but the feeling is good too..
haha..
love him so much..
i know both of us will be suffering if this situation didnt change but..
i really don wan to let go since v haven start our life together..
i really don let go..

anyway just keep my finger cross n wish our relationship can be long lasting..
muaks..

16/7/09-thursday

tis morning wake up so earlier as i have a job as regestration gal.
wen i arrived westin hotel only i know that i work for the bloomberg company.
huge company n meet lot of ppls there..

yesterday receive an email form mike..
said that his ex-wife have some mental problem on it..
i quite confused of wat he said..
need to understand more bout him.but since i feel that he is lying to me..
don know la..
confused on everything he tel me..since v meet each other..

yesterday is my brithday, i receive a cal from mani, guy i know in the zouk future-iraq
actually a suprise..
v plan to meet each other on this coming sunday in sunway..
a good looking guy too..
but somehow he is only 29 years old..
haha...
too young for me..

same things here..
miss mike so much..
hope i can see him now..

14/7/09-tuesday

very tired wen i woke up tis morning since yesterday have a shooting..
but still need to wake up earlier for the bridal trial make up in puncak jalil...
damn tired manl..
still excited with the clubbing on the other nite..
such a good nite as my good frens celebrated birthday with me at zouk future..
n knew some of the new frens..
interesting nite..

miss mike so much..
wish he can celebrated birthday with me..
since now he still in france..
no choice..
wish i can be with him now..

tonite need to meet up with bryant bout the business he do.-dyuelife..
it is a interesting business..but i hv doubt on it..since my network really not strong enough in tis stage..so let see..

10/7/09-friday

tis day is a very tired day, as i woke up at 5am.
cos i had a shooting in north port which is port klang there. n i ask the camera man to fetch me there so i need to wake up at 5am.
damn tired n all of them are smoker..that even very hard for me..
n some more they keep on speak rude word...damn bored oledi...
til 5pm v finish n rush back to kl..hard day..
it a first day i start with the freelance job cal personal assistant.
it is actually an interest job, it just need to do lot of things n carry lot of things too...my shoulder damn pain le..

by the way, i miss mikey so much...
miss him miss him miss him...
haiz...still hve 2 month to go...
damn long le...
love him..~~~

miss

oh..goddness me...
there several day didnt receive his email oledi..
look like he is really busy...
haiz..i miss him so much..just don understand he really don have time to send me a new..?
i hv lot of doubts...
really..

dissappointment

yesterday heard lennon said that coulom have ask us to collect the payment on monday.
i m glad n release to hear that.
but wen i go today morning.
it still didnt open.
one of the person waiting there n said coulomb will never open again..v got cheated..
i feel so sad n dissappointment since there still a hope there..
i feel like shit...

a bit shocked is that my pet mum ask bout mike..
she want to see him, n i said he back to france for summer holiday.
just shocked that she didnt seem like object or wat..
now just feel like a bit release..

i miss mike so much...he is always very busy even back to france.
miss him miss him miss him...

Heavy

haiz,today very moody.
Lot of things hang out there..just feel like shit..
lot of debts...
lots of debts..
haiz...
so many things inside my head but cant move on..
i just cant see the future road suddenly..